New Year, New Beginnings: Mantras for Moving Forward in 2023
By: Z Family Law
The new year is upon us, and as happens each December, the social media posts and articles about ‘new year, new you’ and ‘how to make 2023 your best year yet’ are already circulating. But if you’re dealing with, or soon will be, a family law matter, be it a separation or divorce, a custody modification, or even a domestic violence case, you may not feel especially optimistic or resolute about the new year, and that’s okay. There are likely days when it’s hard enough to just get out of bed, and go through the motions, and the added pressure of having resolved to keep the house clean, or go to the gym everyday is the last thing you need – especially if things are changing and you’re not even sure what next week will look like, nevertheless the rest of the year.
If a goal-oriented resolution doesn’t feel quite right for you, consider selecting a mantra, affirmation, or word of the year to set your intentions and keep you focused on how you want to act and who you want to be in every situation that arises in 2023. If you need inspiration, read on for some affirmations that can guide you through the next twelve months (and beyond).
“Only I am responsible for my own happiness”
There is a lot you cannot control in a family law matter, including how your opposing party acts – they may blame, insult, or attack you, try to discredit you, or otherwise attempt to hurt you – but you can control how you react to the behavior and actions of others. This also means that you are not responsible for other people's happiness, including that of your ex-spouse, your friends, and your family. Focus on your own emotions and fulfillment over the next year.
“I deserve my own attention”
It may seem counterintuitive, but in the midst of a divorce or separation, it’s easy to get caught up in the needs and opinions of others - from your disapproving mother’s never ending stream of ‘advice’, to the big emotions your children are experiencing. While attending to your kiddos is incredibly important, this is also a time of transformation for you too, and it’s equally important to take time to attend to your emotions and needs, and to reflect on what you want your life to look like and who you want to be now that you’re moving forward on your own. In 2023, commit to giving yourself the attention you deserve.
“This too shall pass”
This one may be a cliché, but going through a divorce or family law matter may bring some of the hardest days of your life. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it to persevere, but when it’s really hard, sometimes the best (and only) thing to do is remind yourself that this will not last forever. Maybe 2023 is the year you just get through, and that is enough.
“I cannot become what I need to be by remaining what I am”
Change can be really hard, but ultimately, it is essential for growth. If you’re going through big changes, whether you initiated them or not, this mantra reminds you that even when there are growing pains, you are working towards becoming your best self, and building your life on your own terms. Honor this process, and remember where you're going.
“What other people think of me is none of my business”
You might be surprised by how many opinions everyone has about your divorce or custody matter - even those who you thought would be on your side may question you, or be unsupportive. At the end of the day, there's no point wasting time worrying about what other people think of you (and by the way, that includes your ex-spouse or opposing party). Work on surrounding yourself with the right support network – friends, family, and professionals – and don’t be afraid to let go of the things, and people, who no longer serve you as you move towards your new beginning rather than spending time trying to change their minds.
“I choose this life”
When you’re in the thick of a family law matter, trying to navigate all the legal, financial, emotional, and logistical challenges while maintaining some semblance of normalcy, it can feel like you have no control over your circumstances. Remind yourself that this is your life and you have the power to choose what it looks like. A separation, divorce, or other family law matter is an opportunity to re-evaluate the things you want, prioritize yourself, and start afresh - take advantage of it.
Whether you’re just embarking on a family law journey, or you’re in the midst of it now, you deserve a bright and beautiful new beginning in 2023. If you need help getting there, we're here. Contact Z Family Law today at (301) 388-5528 or hello@zfamilylaw.com.